I have been painting a lot lately. I am blessed to have been able to put Aubrey in daycare, three days a week now, and so certainly that has freed up more time to be me again, and more time to paint. Aubrey is absolutely loving daycare and so that warms my heart. She has made friends, loves her teachers and is settling in well.
As I sit down to write this- I actually am at a loss for words. I figure that sitting in front of my computer and getting this all out as honestly as possible will put this period of flux to good use, and will kind of give whomever wishes to follow along and read this a little glimpse into my headspace.
My business is at a point where I either choose to start playing big and making some scary moves, or risk losing the momentum that I have gained. This is a good problem to have. I am so grateful to have this problem, or to be faced with this reality. I am NOT here to whine about it. What it is, is scary.
So far, my momentum has come from my designs for Third Party Companies. My cellphone cases are rocking it, and I couldn’t be more proud, and my Deny Designs work has landed in some pretty amazing places. I never would have imagined being here when I first started an art challenge in 2014 on Instagram, and sharing my albeit beginner pieces. I am thankful for those of you who remember when I started- lots of you have been around since those days.
What is scary about growth? Well, lots of things. This is where we know doubt will enter. Inevitably before you make those big moves your thoughts will try and talk you out of it. I am not talking about wisely weighting the pros, and cons. I am talking about pesky doubt that says- the momentum will stop, and then you will be out cash you are no longer making. (read, I have a family to help support, and momentum stopping would be so life changing to my little family so that fear is grounded in truth)
This is where you say to yourself, well yes, your Design work has taken off, but you don’t sell original artwork very well. I am sharing this with you- because it’s true. My heart yearns to sell my original works a lot more than I do. Design work fits really well into my life right now. It is easier for me to handle (no shipping, and wrapping etc) and with the illness, and recovery in full force- it works. But you can’t stop your heart from dreaming of the day when people will purchase your new original works, and will be proud to display them in their homes. Yes, do I sell original art? I do. I really do. But the sales are few and far between, and I know that this is the reality for lots of artists. It takes years and years of building in order to be able to grow your audience and up the demand for your work. I don’t pretend to be in the expert stage of this art journey- in fact I still consider myself to be in the beginning stages. BUT the dream is still there. I know that art is a nice to have, and that lots of people would lots to purchase original artwork but that it actually isn’t possible to spend the money in that way. I get it. There are always purchases that will have to come before art- even if you REALLY want to buy. In no way do I want this to come out as a “BUY MY ART” because that is not what this is. I get it. It’s just one of the scary doubts that comes into play before actually committing to take the next steps, and overcoming fear and going all in.
This monetary issue is part of the reason that I have chosen to sell my art/designs through third party vendors. (Who have good quality product, whose values I can stand beside) It makes my art, available through different price points so that people who want a piece of my art, or who appreciate the idea that art can brighten your day, and small moments of brightness can help you lead a happier or more peaceful life. It allows you to infuse art into your daily life in bits and pieces but for those bits and pieces to count. I am so grateful to have those outlets to license my work through, and grateful to all of you for supporting me in those ways as well.
I have largely been inside my head this last little while, trying to figure out just how big to play, and what the next steps are. My heart has been calling me to create on canvas, and on paper, in ways that I will offer as Original Pieces. They may take years to sell, or they may never sell, but I will always follow my heart and soul and do what they are guiding me towards. It may take time but I will figure out this journey of mine one step at a time.
Mostly I just want to thank everyone for being here for this journey. Every single like on my posts, or comment on my posts, makes a big difference in the visibility of my account, and thus my ability to reach my artwork further into the world and into peoples lives. This is what it is all about. If the sales were to disappear completely- I would be fine. I love my art, I love the path of starting messy, and not knowing where you will end up, and working it and working it. Then saying- oh this is awful. Then buckling down and working some more. Then magically almost as if out of nowhere (except you worked really hard for this out of nowhere) things fall into place and you see why you just went through all that you did. Such is the way- in art, and in life, and while I have no idea really where I am headed- I am immersing myself in the journey. Big things, little things. Life is magic, and I am blessed.